Lady Viper: The Snake Charmer

Legend and popular myth says that daughter and sole heir to Scottish Lord and Lady McInnes, Aileana McInnes (a.k.a. Sideshow’s Lady Viper), was born into a family bloodline once cursed by faeries hundreds of years ago during the ‘Great Faerie Battle of Scotland’. A conflict that started over land ownership. The curse states that, “Any women carrying the seed of a McInnes, will die during childbirth”.

Lord McInnes, like many of his ancestors, sort ways to break the curse once and for all. It was rumoured he even sort the controversial help of an Irish Banshee.Whatever the mystical bargain may have been, it seemed to have worked… at first.

Lady McInnes succeeded in giving birth to their beautiful healthy daughter, Alieana, and happy they all were until Alieana’s 6th birthday. On the day of the birthday celebration Alieana became violently ill, her complexion changed and her nose began to recede and disappear altogether. Concerned for her health, Lord and Lady McInnes uprooted from Scotland’s north to warm sunny southern Spain. They noticed an instant difference in Aileana's health, although sadly her nose never recovered, and with age her skin became more green and reptilian.

Shortly after the family settled in Spain, tragedy once again caught up with the McInnes family. Aileana's parents and head butler Manny Marcos Ratón disappeared under mysterious circumstances while on a picnic trip – rumours speculate that it was  yet another consequence of the ‘McInnes Curse’. His son, Señor Manuel Miguel Ratón a.k.a “Squeaky”, succeeded Manny Marcos Ratón.

“Nowadays I live at the family home in Spain for seven months of the year with my butler and faithful confidant Squeaky, and Santos my beloved green tree python. The rest of the time I’m touring with the Sideshow. I’ve never returned to the old family estate in Scotland. I’m told no one lives there anymore, although I’ve heard through the grapevine that some people believe the faeries have staked claim on that land again. Good for them”.

Aileana McInnes a.k.a Lady Viper

Little Miss Noelle Et'All: The Three-eyed Midget

A tiny figure but a big presence, Noelle flashes a brilliant smile from the top of her custom made high stool, with extra ‘booster’ books, designed to make her eye level with most normal sized people, or humans... because Noelle is not human.

‘Mon père was a Faery, ma mere Unyuk* (*Pronounced: oón-yuk) which iz like a type of one-eyed Troll. I am what you call ‘hybrid’ of ze two, as you see with my extra eye and my gift for talking to spiritueux and seeing ze future. Unfortunately, because of my muddled appearance, I do not fit in ze world of faery, nor do I fit in with ze unyuks.

“My spiritueux guides encourage me to join ze human world, which I did, though sadly in doing so I vill never see mes parents again. I cannot return. Fortunately I find a place for myself in ze community of ze Sideshow. Now zey are ma famille.”

She smiles, a twinkle in her eye, “I found ze Sideshow, they did not find me. Now they would be lost without me”.

She suddenly sighs wearily to herself, "My ‘ed getz so crowded with all ze visions and ze spiritueux voices talking at me all ze time. Zey never stop. I mean, I am use to et, but I still get tired. I paint because et is ze only time I can make my ‘sight’ and mind quiet .The spiritueux and ze visions do not disturb me when I sit in front of a blank canvas. Perhaps et is because they are so interested as to what I might paint or maybe et is because zey can not second guess me. Or maybe both?”

She suddenly bursts into laugher that sounds like crystal prisms in the wind, “Do you want to know my real name? I tell you. Mon nom réel est Pluie Noelene Willowglitter. Willowglitter is mon père family name. Ma mere.....well, she just liked ze name Noelene”. Noelle shakes her head and wrinkles her nose, “Me, I do not like  name... not at all. So I change it to Noelle – so iz like ‘Leetle Mz, Noelle Et’all’*, iz clever non?” *(Little Miss Know It All)

The Hummingbird Sisters

Meet Lulu and June Hummingbottom, the conjoined twins of French Canadian amateur Genetics Scientist Judy Hummingbottom and Anglo Canadian World Famous Pianist Lewis Hummingbottom.

Talented and gifted singers, the girls can sing Opera, Jazz and Yodel. With such an impressive talent and a striking look, it was no surprise that the Sideshow found them and quickly offered them top billing! Part of their act is to dress up as an Angel and Devil; Lulu as the Angel and June as the Devil. Off stage their personalities are to the contrary. Lulu admits she is the cheeky loud one with "an Encyclopaedia of Vices" while June tries to avoid bad habits.

Lulu: If it's frowned upon cos it's 'naughty' or 'inappropriate' I probably indulge myself. Drives June crazy. What’s that saying about the cheese again? 

June: As different as chalk and cheese.

Lulu: Yeah, that’s it! We’re as different as chalk and cheese.

Black. White. Yes. No. Dark. Light. Dog. Cat. Night. Morning. Elvis. Beatles. Rolling Stones. Beatles. Lady Ga-ga. Beatles. VODKA MARTINI! English breakfast with a spot of milk or earl grey with a slice of lemon. Steak and chips. Vegetarian Sushi. Australian Football, cos I like the tight shorts on the “Aussie blokes”. You are such a pervert. I’m personally not interested in spectator sports. I prefer the visual arts. I’m particularly impressed by… Yep, I’m all for gay marriage. Huh??... I mean, I feel it’s a basic human right. Right? Come on, it’s a complex debate, you can’t leap in and say “Yes” like that, it’s not that simple. However, having said that, I suppose I support the right for same sex marriage also. Really? Since when? *Rolls eyes* I’ve always felt that way, you knew this already. *Sighs* you just don’t listen. Hey did you know, when we were young I was the first to learn how to talk. When June eventually decided to start talking, she could only speak in French!! Weird huh? You’re a bit of a ‘freak’ eh lady? Well you know what they say Lulu? It takes one to know one.

Miss Universe: World's Largest Tattooed Lady

Miss Universe is the Sideshow’s popular and adored Fat Tattooed Lady. Her body is covered by royal blue intricate tattoos that contrast her pale smooth skin so that she is reminiscent of a large human Ming vase. Off stage she goes by the name Mei-Xie, which in Chinese means beautiful and elegant. Mei-Xie is the only child to Ting-Ting and Ma Sun. Despite being an only child she is very generous, caring and infectiously likeable.

“Growing up as a child I desperately wanted a brother or sister, so I made lots of friends instead. When I didn't have a friend to play with I loved to write and read poetry - though my biggest passion is to dance. Believe it or not, I’m an accomplished ballet dancer and I’m truly very good at it. It helps me to relax so I dance as much as I can. Though more importantly it keeps me in shape!” she laughs.

“Why is my stage name  Miss Universe? Well D’uh! Cos I’ve got a big round belly of course!” (Laughing again) “Actually, not true. I’m called  Miss Universe because of my tattoos. Back when I first started getting ink done, I used to get a lot of star constellations, because I love astronomy. You can’t really see them so much anymore because they are hidden amongst all the other tattoos - but I know they are there".

“The world is such a beautiful place, despite the bad things that happen, there is so much to be inspired by. I had a tradition I started years ago where I would get a tattoo whenever someone or something inspired me - as a reminder or keepsake. Needless to say I’m inspired a lot!”.

When asked if there was any part of her body that was not covered by a tattoo, she giggles “Cheeky! That’s a secret!”

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Venus: The Bearded Beauty

Daughter of two high school teachers and the eldest of six siblings, Venus, the Sideshow's Bearded Beauty was originally christened Eden Grace Harper as named after Mount Eden in New Zealand where she was born.

As a young child and well into her teens, she was always academically gifted with an aptitude for Chemistry. To equal her natural brilliance was her beauty, which instead of a blessing Eden felt was a curse. Her beauty was so flawless, even from an early age that people were intimidated by her or perhaps too shy to speak to her.

"I was always very lonely as a child and again as a teen. It was horrible. People would just stare at me their mouth opening and shutting like a fish out of water. They would always stare but never speak or utter a word to me"

When Eden turned sixteen, fed up with the curse of loneliness her beauty caused her, she dosed her face in a chemical she had designed to treat dogs with alopecia hoping to cover her appearance and creating the beard that now grows on her face today.

"It's a strange thing, people were still staring at me but in a different way. They now stare at me with child like curiosity, which is great because with curiosity comes questions followed by conversation and then friendship. Having a beard was the best thing I could have done for myself"

Being so academically gifted, you'd expect that Eden would have discovered a cure for her famous whiskers long ago, and it may surprise you to learn that she has.

"I knew how to get rid of my beard the moment I grew it, but I don't want to. It's a part of me and that's the way that I like it"

The Amazing Crab Girl

The first thing you’ll notice about Ingrid Havstrøm, better known as Crab Girl, is she lives up to her stage name. She’s surly, aloof and … well crabby. But she also has a lot of warmth and humour for people close to her, her “Sideshow family”.

Ingrid joined the Sideshow, possibly around age nine, as a young runaway. She had run away from an orphanage on the southern coast of Norway just outside Kristiansand. Her unusual physical appearance and her insistence and determination on staying meant that she was swiftly and legally adopted by the Sideshow.

The orphanage where Ingrid came from is situated on shoreline overlooking a beach where she was first found.  “There she was, this tiny child, all of about three. She was completely naked and abandoned on the beach and looking very distressed” says Governess Aakvik. “I remember how my staff and I were initially quite alarmed by her unusual appearance.What kind of child has a crab claw as a hand?”

“She was a very shy little thing, though once she trusted you she was terribly affectionate. She’d curl up on your lap like a wee kitten, she was very cute – but like a stray kitten she was very timid and her moods would swing quite abruptly. She always had an unpredictable temper and she never really got along with the other children, which is why we suspect she ran away to be with the Sideshow.”

“We have no idea where she came from and who her birth family is, to my knowledge she has never confided that information, or maybe she does not remember. The other children would tease her and say that her father was a drunk sailor who had it off with a crab because he was so drunk that he could not tell the difference between a crab and a mermaid.”

“We called her Ingrid Havstrøm, because Havstrøm means ‘ocean current’ which we felt was very fitting to her nature”.

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